Wednesday, April 28, 2010

lump da lump lump luuuuump.

so, sunday night in the bathtub, during the semi-monthly exam of my girls, i found a suspicious and signifigant ~uninvited~ lump in lefty.

at first, it felt like it was about the size of half a grape, cut lenghtwise.
upon further inspection of its barriers, it upgraded to about half the size of an avacado pit, cut top to bottom. its in a weird place. not in the fatty tissue, and not very much in the actual boob part. its kind of underneath, and curving up into my cleavage, but still mostly against the chest wall. its enough in the breast tissue to still be a lump in my breast though. hard, painless, and sort of movable when manipulated.

i had the nurses at work inspect it, as well as my mother, best friend, and fiancee. basically, i asked anyone with fingers to feel it. everyones eyes got big, and i was sternly told to see a dr asap.

so, i did, today.

wait- backtrack.

i made an appt with a doctor that i know from work. he is probably 85. the nicest old man you ever did meet, but ancient. the reason i picked him, is because its rather well known that if you go to him in scrubs, he basically lets you streamline the appt. he's sort of easy to gently boss around. with the lump being in the place it is, a typical mammogram may not detect it. it may need an ultrasound or ctscan, and not every doctor will start there. i thought i could get him to order all three. or at least two of the tests.

...i would have been happy with two.

my mother and aunt, who are both rn's, freaked out when i told them who i was seeing. wanted me to go to a different doctor that they recommended. they said that my little old man doctor was incompetent, and would have the tests result sit on his desk for a week, IF he ordered it, and not remember who i was before i even hit the parking lot. they said he would probably just order me antibiotics and send me home.

...whatever ladies, i just want to get in with the first dr who will see me, order misc diagnostic tests, and tell me if i have cancer.

so, today, i saw their doctor.


she ordered me antibiotics, and sent me home. said it was probably an abcess or infection. called it cellulitis on the charges sheet that she handed me before she sent me home. i ASKED her for a mammogram. she told me to come back in two weeks if her round of antibiotics didnt take care of it.

so... i have to wait two weeks to find out if i have cancer? i have to think about this for another two weeks? i have to catch myself fingering my lump constantly, and i have to worry that its a small cell fast growing type of cancer that is rampantly growing out of control during these 14 days that i'm taking a weak ass antibiotic for an infection that i do not have?

sure, no problem. lets do that.

dont get me wrong, i would looooove an infection. i would love it so much that i might lay out a welcome mat and hold off on the antibiotics for a little while, just so it feels appreciated. no kidding.

but, heres why that wont work:

i have ZERO sign of infection.

there is no redness, no swelling, no streaking, no fever, no discharge, no sore, no opening, no ANYTHING that would equal infection. i certainly dont have cellulitis. i treat that ten times a day, and i know what it looks like without pause. my boob does not look that way. my lump is hard, and movable, and painless, except when i cant stop messing with it, which is frequent, but it started -and is still- majorily painless. and invisible to the naked eye. there is nothing to signify infection. nothingnothingnothing to signal infection. i have no idea why this WOMAN DOCTOR is passively treating me for infection with zero signs of infection.

did i mention that i do not believe its an infection?

and lets talk about my maternal family history.
1. my grandmothers aunt had a bilateral masectomy.
2. my grandmother had a masectomy, and 6 years later other cancer bloomed.
3. my mother has implants and never gets mammograms and wouldnt tell me even if she was sick with something.
4. other family stuff that im not real clear on.
5. no medical history on my paternal side.

in case you missed it, thats a bunch of  family cancer. in my opinion, that should buy me BI-ANNUAL mammograms if i want them.

but, noooo- my lump has to wait two weeks while some idiot doctor tries unwarranted antibiotics for NOTHING.

and btw, why WOULDNT she just give me a rx for a mammogram in the meantime, during her retarded round of unnecessary antibiotics? even if its just to ease my mind?? my health insurance covers it 100 percent. she does not even have to perform it, so it doesnt even take up her time. win win.

breast + lump x strong family history = mammogram, right?

evidently, not always.

so, cross your fingers for the magic of antibiotics... she says skeptically...


my next two weeks are gonna suck.

...and- thanks for the referral, mom.


1 comment:

  1. So sorry to hear what you had to go through and now you have to wait!! Thank you Jesus (literally) my Dr. is the big wig, no waiting for me. I was told by an Oncologist that if it is on the Fraternal side of your family, your risk is higher. My Mom had a mastectomy and all her aunts before her, they are all on her fathers side... but still, no Dr should mess around. Can you go to another Doc?