hazmat team, tooth pain, and other nonsense~ rtt.

~*~




sigh.

so, craig and i are doing well with the goal list. we cleaned his room by the 30th, which was the plan. yay us.


but... ::looks around for conspiratorially:: ...guys? between you and i, that room was unfit for a cockroach. seriously- there should have been bugs, and there wasnt any. because they are afraid of that degree of filth.

we hauled out 8 industrial sized bags of trash. the kind of bags that are so big that you have to steal them from work because Glad doesnt make them that big for the public to purchase. like- 200 gallon sized. or something. and- it was mostly trash that should have been in the kitchen trash. e.g.- take out containers, gatorade bottles, and doritos bags... that sort of stuff. the newspapers i found dated back to march of 2006.

and then we went through and discarded eleven bags of moldy, smelly clothes. the kind of mold that harms people. there is a busted window in his room that is covered, but still lets in a ton of moisture, evidently. getting that fixed is on The List.

and- i'm making him throw away his nasty infested king sized bed. i wouldnt let my dog pee on it, and i'm damn sure not gonna be naked around it.

speaking of naked- the porn was the cleanest thing in the room, and my fella is a freak.

i keep telling myself that he hasnt lived there in 2.5 years, and that he doesnt pig out like that in the home we share now, and that he was a bachelor, blah blah blah...

but, this was like an episode of Hoarders, and those people got issues.

anyhoo, now its done, and that was the worst part. thankfully.


~*~




have you ever had a toothache? know any magical cures? i have never had tooth pain, but over the weekend, i lost my filling in a Starburst, and i woke up this morning feeling like someone attacked the interior of my oral canal with a ball ping hammer.

wait- that sentence was past tense, and thats incorrect. it hasnt stopped. its only worsened as the day has gone on.

i have taken so much ibuprofen that it would be considered suicidal if i died.
i have swished with warm salt water.
i have crushed an aspirin and mixed it with pure vanilla extract and applied it as a paste.
i have sucked on a peppermint tea bag.
i have swished with NyQuil.
i have swished with Listerine.

... all lies. whomever the old wives are that have told these tales, they are all a bunch of liars. nothing helps.

i have frequently cited bilateral ear infections as my worst pain ever, including childbirth (and i had my girls Au natural). i still stand by that, however, tooth pain has bumped childbirth down a notch on the scale. i have cried real tears today. i sat in an empty room holding my face and rocking during my lunch break.

go see a dentist, you say? i would love to. i talked to several on the phone today, and the lowest quote i received after my insurance coverage, was around 700 dollars, out of pocket.

and, THATS because i'm gonna need a crown, because as i found out today when i cried to my mother, when i was 14 i had a root canal done, and it was supposed to have been crowned, and she "never got around to it".

thanks ma.

anyway, craigs sister is a dental something-or-other, and i'm hoping she will be able to get her office to let me pay it out. meanwhile, i'm just gonna have to suffer.


~*~




did everyone have a good memorial day weekend? we cleaned, as you've heard, and we went to a dinner party at a friends place on sunday night.

i met two kids, ages 17 and 19, that were guests of the hostesses sister.

these kids have never been to school. they dont know how to read. they were socially inept, and so sweet that you just wanted to squish them. and- punch their parents in the mouth. they work the land with their family, or something.

i thought stuff like that only happened in vc andrews novels.

and, i was embarrassingly fascinated with them. i taught my dad to read when i was in 4th grade. i suspect that he knew a little, but he wasnt literate by any means. how does this happen?

...those kids made me so sad that they've haunted me all weekend. i may never see them again. probably will never see them again. thats such a waste.


~*~





bought the new stone temple pilots album and its the bombdiggity, just so you know. i love it when the entire album is good, and you can just let it play.



~*~





have i mentioned that i'm blogger handicapped? i'm desperately seeking someone who can tell me how to dress my page up. where to get/ put the codes and stuff.

customize it 'yo.

and- how to link stuff so its a color that people can click on. i would like to be able to tell people to go check out The Un Mom (who hosts random thoughts tuesday) and some others that i'm loving. but, i'm not very savvy in that department yet. tutors please apply.


~*~




ugh. my fuggin face hurts, and its radiating into my ear. and i have mountains of laundry to do as a result of my daughter cleaning her room.

sigh.

happy tuesday everyone.

RTT-short and sweet

does anyone else wait anxiously for RTT?


so, my oldest, the blonde one, is out of school for the summer. she'll be home every other week, and at her dads the alternating weeks. her younger sister, the brown one, will continue her life at day care on the days i work.
unfair, right? ...i know.
i'm going to make a chore chart or something. i cant have her lying on the couch watching steve wilcos or playing on the internet all day. anyone have luck with chore charts, or have a better idea to organize her productivity?

craig and i sat down and made a goal list, complete with start dates, and deadlines. we'll see how that turns out. we've been talking about moving to his house for 2.5 years, and havent done anything to acomplish it. he's had several knee surgeries, and i work full time. in between that, we have the kids. cant take them with us to clean and stuff- the place was a 7 year old bachelor pad in its previous life. its knee deep in porn and take-out containers. today job is #1a- call plumber to replace toilet and fix leaky fawcets. #1b- call lawn guy and get estimate. piece of cake- i'm halfway done. sigh, the dirty stuff starts this weekend.
~ugh, the surrender of my safety net. i'm kinda nervous about moving, yo. we've lived in MY house for 2 years. think that dynamic will change when we move to HIS?

random tuesday thoughts, take two.

(hey, look! i remembered the button!)

~can anyone else guess the day of the week by the condition of their living room? my living room mess goes in phases that worsen as the week goes by. unless its friday thru sunday night, please dont stop by.



~i admitted the cutest, most interesting woman at work today. she reminded me of this postsecret card that i loved and saved.


i got report that she was combative and confused, which i attribute to staff impatience. i would say that she's much like a timid stray puppy- big nervous eyes watching and gauging at first, posture crouched and guarded- until spoken to softly and at her level.
when asked a direct question, there is a pause so long before she answers that you almost think you've been ignored. she then speaks very slowly, and considers her words very carefully before putting them out into the world.
she has great fear of doing anything -or anything being done to her- that she doesnt understand. and she will not oblige you until she does. i find that more than reasonable, and that kind of fire makes me smile.

she's 88, and aged in such a way that i have no hint to her ethnicity. she's all frizzy hair and bright eyes.
after a few minutes, she shyly told me that she prefers to be called "dr. whomever" and bashfully admitted that she has a phD in arts and humanities. (i was in awe when this info checked out.)
i learned that she was a concert pianist before a stroke took the use of her right hand, and affected the part of her brain that controls music appreciation. she says music now sounds clang-y and shrill at the same time, and annoys the hell out of her. she cried when she told me that, and it broke my heart.
she was then whisked away to a procedure, and i spent all day waiting on her to get back so i could... bask in her. weird, i know. i'm fascinated by old people. this lady is like hitting the mother load for me. i want to hear every story about her life that she can remember. i cant wait to go to work tomorrow.


this morning, at 530am, i was perusing ebay to see if they sold fraggle rock memorabilia, (they don't, so much, other than vhs tapes.) and i learned that fraggle rock existed as a comic book. did you know that? as the bethroed to a comic book collecting nerdball, i found it mildly interesting.


we had a giant hail storm a few days ago. i grew up here,(in oklahoma) so, its just another spring storm season to me. however, a facebook friend in michigan reposted a video she saw on youtube that a local had filmed. evidently home videos of this storm are going viral on the internet. since people everywhere are finding it interesting, this is a photo my daughter took of a piece of hail.
we were lucky enough not to have any damage.



i'm off to wash scrubs and glare at my dirty dishes. happy tuesday everyone.

boundries

.
.
.

open scene:
.
.
.

picture me, in the bathtub. thursday evening.



(insert black censoring boxes at your discretion)


i've worked too many days in a row.. i'm weary, and stressed, and desperately in need of some quiet time.

i've also been thinking a lot lately about how i havent gotten to spend any valid one-on-one with my craig in... oh... lets see... eleventeenthwentyish months?

...approximately.



i'm off for the next three days,

(oh, yes. you just heard angels sigh)

and since i'm feeling a bit gooey about missing my guy,
my intended "just a quick bath while i'm waiting on craig to get home" turned into a full blown grooming mission.

yeah- i said 'mission'.

normally- i get up at 5am if i want to throw a shower into my morning routine. i am NOT a morning person, and many times i do not wake up recognizably until after my shower, when i'm blow drying my hair . its just not safe for me to manipulate a razor around my knee caps or womanly bits that early in the morning, therefore, i do not shave stuff on most days. and i do not apologize.


so-
i've lounged quietly through one round of bubbles...
i've washed my hair, and deep conditioned...
i've scrubbed all over, and shaved my legs, ankle to thigh...
i've JUST manuevered myself into one of those ghastly positions that allows a girl to shave her junk...




when my eleven year old busts through to door yelling-



" HEY, LOOK!!
I JUST FINISHED MY PLANT CELL MODEL,
AND ITS SOOO COOL!! "



boundries.


hmph.

random tuesday thoughts

i'm a first timer at this (yay, another virginity cast aside!) and a little bit nervous. here we go...


my oldest kid has a band recital tonight. yawn. yay for her, but, really, 6th graders and horns = FANTASTIC.


today, i found out that my 2nd ex husband, the antichrist, had a warrant issued for his arrest yesterday, and i am copiously celebrating his pending incarcaration. bitchy? yes. and if you knew him, you'd be taking me out to celebrate instead of judging me while i do my happy dance, silently, in my head. he's a bastard.


...gettin' my very first mammogram tomorrow to investigate my lump. good times.


does anyone else totally get off on natural disasters? we had tornadoes in my area last night, and i LOVED it. been watching the sky all day for signs of a repeat.


we have the craziest people in at work today. mucho pain pill seekers. they're such a brutal fuck in the butt.



this was brief and not very entertaining.
just wanted to participate, and say hi, and stuffs.
happy tuesday !

confession

saw a dr today that confirmed my suspicions that my previous lump dr was a retard.

this dr wrote me an rx for a mammo before she even did the exam.

during the exam, she also planned an mri.

i found myself a regular doc. love her.



craig went to a friends tonight, and i'm jealous and unrightfully pissy. i'm pms'ish, nicotine deprived, and feeling a little bi-polar and lonely. and i'm also keeping my mouth shut about feeling this way. he deserves to have a good time. no reason to damper it with my immaturity. hope he's having fun... she says both sarcastically and sincerely.



i'm on day 7. i smoked half 2 cigs last night, but that was after a funeral and two beers, so leave me alone, jimminy cricket.


~twirl.

::enter the sound of nails tapping here::

... or a pen clicking. or gum popping. (or patience sizzling)
...you pick.

today is my first day as a non smoker. i started the patch this morning.

today wasnt really that bad. i worked all day though, so i wasnt around anyone who smokes. and i wasnt around my kids. (not to be mean- but, fuck! they make me wanna smoke and i'll be surprised if they survive.)

craig smokes, although, he's right behind me on the quitting calendar.

...so he says.
the rat bastard still hasnt bought his nicotine gum.
traitor... bitch.

the patch makes my arm cold in waves, and it itches, but not unbearably. today, i have found that i'm fighting the habit, not the nicotine, so i guess its doing its job.

i totally stashed ONE emergency cigarette, so pray for its survival.




um... news on my lump...

it seems to be getting smaller. so, yay. a dr at work explained to me why i couldnt just have a mammogram. something about the lump would show up as a type of mass no matter what its made of, so we may as well see if its made of random infection. and its shrinking, so thats good.
(the lump, i mean. not my boob. that would be not so good.)




what else?

um... craig got totally screwed on a car he just bought. he wanted an older model of a honda civic. and found one in really good shape with only 147000 miles. so he bought it for 1200. it will just be a little work car. or was going to be- until we found an oil change receipt stating the next oil change was due at...

TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY THOUSAND MILES.

evidently someone rolled back the ol odometer.
evidently people still do that.

(...probably NOT going to be driving that little gem across the state onto oil field sites. )




oh, and i might own a major chunk of a well known motel franchise soon.

my youngest went to 6 flags over the weekend with her aunt, and swam in the motel pool for three hours. afterward when she complained of her skin burning, her aunt found red raw places all over her body, which led to a discussion with the front desk attendant, who foolishly told her that the maintence guy chlorinated the pool at around 6ish, and should have stayed to keep people out, but didnt stay.

yeah- my daughter started swimming at about 6:10.

so, we went to the dr today, and confirmed that she does in fact have chemical burns consistant with chlorine, 1st and 2nd degree, in a hodgepodge of places. hopefully they wont scar. probably wont, according to the dr.
tomorrow, the opthamologist, to check out her peepers. merely precautionary.

poor kid.



...and i still havent smoked.


~twirl.

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